The frog’s no Prince, but I’ll marry him

Sometimes a girl may have to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her prince.

I’m sure the frogs agree. One or two might even be daring enough to use this as a pick-up line.

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Pucker up, baby!

To my surprise Indian parents also seem to agree. Parents anxious to marry off their well-educated, beautiful, hard-working and independent daughters into good families of their choice, overlook the fact that while they are opposed to the idea of the girl finding her Prince Charming on her own, they are willing to let her mingle with a lot many frogs who are brought up the right way.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of arranged marriage. But the way I’ve seen it work, it is manipulation tactics at their best. A girl is educated and raised to be ambitious about her career, and at the same time, she is brought up knowing that no longer than her 24th birthday, she will be married off, and preferably through an arranged marriage. The girl has 24 years of her life to make peace with the fact that she will be married to a stranger with whom she has shared just a few moments alone. The girl quietly accepts and leaves matters in her parents hands. Everyone thinks she is happy, because she did not show any resistance to the idea of arranged marriage.

Some families are more liberal-minded. Their daughters are allowed to mingle with frogs and toads freely. Princesses are generally left to their own devices, and frogs are even invited to dinner, until one fine day when realization strikes that the frog is just a frog and not a Prince charming. Or maybe that their daughter has grown tired of frogs and needs a real Prince. And then, manipulation kicks in.

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“We can see why you love him dear, he’s a good-looking fella!”
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“It’s just that he spends an awful lot of time lying among the lotuses and trying to imitate the Crazy Frog!”
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“Now this one, for instance…”
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“Or him. See, he’s a frog too. And he’s a different shade of green. What’s more, he can even catch flies with one flick of his tongue!  Now be a dear, kiss him and see if he turns into a Prince?”

And so the girl eventually agrees to ditch her own frog and meet up many others before she gets tired and belies herself into thinking one of them is her prince, and chooses to marry him. Or, she may get real lucky and truly find her Prince Charming somewhere along the way. I sure hope most girls get lucky and find their Prince.

I’m not saying all families are this way. I’ve met some truly supportive families who let their daughters choose her own happiness. I wish more families were that way. I know that the parents are just trying to ensure their daughter’s future happiness, and arranged marriages do work out well sometimes. But wouldn’t the daughter feel more in control of her life if left to choose her own groom and the date of her wedding?

I’m also not saying frogs make for bad husbands, if the girl marries one instead of her prince.

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It’s just that finding your Prince (or thinking you’ve found one) on your own, would be much better for me at least! I would love to know what you think!

And in the meanwhile…

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Pucker away, beautiful princesses!

 

*Images sourced from: Google Images

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13 thoughts on “The frog’s no Prince, but I’ll marry him”

  1. I totally agree with the that one should choose their own “FROG” and rest is left to the time if he actually turns out to be prince or moron.. It will be your life your decision not something imposed on you… Everyone will live with it coz if u ve observed there are quiet alot who blame the tradition of arranged marriage which their parents believed in being a cause for few of their miseries…:):)… Very beautifully quoted madhura.. The thought which isn’t really given a thought..

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  2. Well, as a toad, I would say we are undervalued! Seriously though, the keyword you mentioned is ‘control.’ Parents cannot constantly be ‘helicopters’ hovering over daughters in any culture. I hope there is always room for negotiation, and my 3 daughters are so strong-willed I don’t know if they would ever listen to any objection I might make…

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    1. As a species well yes, what can I say, when the comparison lies with Princes? :-p
      I’m sure your daughters will consider what you say.. I’m strong willed myself and I’m sure my Dad doubts if I ever listen :-p But I do, his advice or objection is always given careful thought 🙂

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