Science? Or a metaphysical reality? 

I think the time has come to decide what to believe. I could believe that there was a purpose for this Universe, and that human race is indeed closer to finding the answers, which are, at the moment, mere theories. Or, I could choose to be stubbornly naive and say that the only things that exist are the things we perceive in this sensory world, believe that we will never find those answers, and thus turn my back on the philosophical questions of existence that have haunted me as well as our entire species, for generations.

After years of research and scientific experiments, are we any closer to knowing if there is any God, or if the Universe had any purpose whatsoever? Do scientists or non-atheists honestly believe that one day either a God or a purpose will suddenly reveal themselves to us, after resolutely ignoring the beseeching cry for answers raised by our species for billion generations?

I don’t think so. Perhaps, all that is going to happen is, The Last Human (so to speak), is gonna end up with an enormous amount of researched, well-written hypothesis. And he’s not gonna know what the fuck to do with it.

The Last Human will then take his last breath, and life will flash before his eyes, not just his own but of the billions of generations gone by, of all the people who gave up their lives in the quest for answers, searching for meaning. Even if there is an afterlife and even if we do learn the answers after death, truth is that no Human will ever have penetrated into this mystery.

Some people say that death is a mere inevitability, and that the spirit lives on, taking another life form. But, remembering one’s past life has always been beyond the ability of a mere mortal. If we are to start each new life as a blank slate, without a memory of the soul’s prior existence, what purpose is there to believe that death is only for the bodily realm? It seems like a mere consolation for those fearing death, the thought that we don’t really die and that the soul lives on.

So, I choose to be stubbornly naive. I think we only get one life, and if we don’t live it to the fullest, that’s it, we’re dead. I cannot say I can ever turn my back on the philosophical questions, I but right now, I choose to believe that the answers are not gonna appear miraculously; rather, there’s a possibility they will never be known, and we will be left shooting in the dark.

Evolution: Infinite or revolutionary?

We study the miracle of evolution from a single cell in which someone breathed life, to more and more complex organisms with powers so advantageous it would almost seem magical if you saw it happening. Once you get past those questions of ‘Who is our Creator’ or ‘Did we ourselves create this world from nothing’?, then you become brave enough to look to the future and wonder if we are still evolving or are we the last on the chain, the most advanced species there can ever be.

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And the answer is disappointing if we consider ourselves to be the most evolved. True, they say that the next evolution is revolution in technology. But I feel that’s just evolution of mankind, not man himself. Technology is improving by massive strides, but at the end of the day, man is developing further on something that was man made in the first place.

Wouldn’t it be true evolution, if a couple hundred years later, man begins to evolve through his own spirit and inner sanctity? Imagine the man of the future, answering questions of existence with certainty; answering questions on the history of evolution, the Big Bang and the Universe itself, by diving deep into the memories of this infinite universe that gave us life – this colossal database as yet unexplored. Imagine man to be so powerful as to bend the 5 elements of the earth with his bare hands. Imagine man to be able to communicate without speaking; a language of this universe, spoken and understood by not only all species on this earth, but even those existing beyond the boundaries of our current knowledge.

I am wholly supportive of a technological revolution; after all it only goes to prove man’s power of intellect. But I refuse to accept that this is the only evolution there will ever be.

Demons

Your past is carefully locked up, demons and all. It makes you feel stronger in the now, knowing there’s an iron door between your two worlds. You have never once opened that door, though the demons are rearing to have a go. You could never face them yourself, because you were never strong enough for that kind of thing.

Such doors are never meant to be opened alone. That world comes into discourse only when you can rely on the strength of someone else, the one who coaxes you to face your demons.

I open that door

I see it; I see those red eyes now

Staring intently, sensing my fear

I tremble on the doorstep

You give me a slight push

And I cross the threshold

 

They don’t attack all at once

(Yes, ‘they’ are more than one)

They wait for me to choose my opponent

I start with the oldest, the weakest

And as my triumph slays fear,

You look jubilant, from the corner…

 

I move on to the others

The ghosts & the vicious ones

I raise my sword and shield,

But it is stronger, it hits back

I look to you for help

And see you cowering, terrified

 

I stare in shock then comprehend,

My demons scare you more!

They have unified, ready to pounce

I realize I am alone in this fight

A moment of panic, a scream

I need to get out, “get out now!”

 

But you have still not moved

As the monsters strike, I flee;

My fingers slam the door shut

Divided again, my two worlds

But now you’re in there, locked in that room

Locked within my past

Time

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Time is what we need

If it never slipped from our fingers

Wouldn’t it be man’s greatest inventions

If he could only hold time?

“You earn, you travel,

You read and even love;

You sing and dance,

You laugh and eat merry;

Why are you discontent still?

What would you rather be doing?”

 

“Something worthwhile

Something, worthy of time”

 

Wishing Well

Penny in a wishing well

Saw a wishing well
And threw in a dime,
Said let’s take a walk
Let’s go back in time

So we turn back the years,
Beyond reaches of pain
To happy days as kids
Dancing in the rain

There’s me splashing puddles
And Curly’s scraped his knees
What an age to just have fun
What joy to be so carefree

Why go back, let’s stay right here
Let’s hide inside this borrowed time
Where love, like us, is innocent
And lovers don’t need to rhyme

Strangers to love

Unfortunately, we are not strangers any more.

As simply beautiful strangers to each other, we embraced love with open arms. We loved with all our heart then, and happiness only meant loving someone. We did not expect love. We did not even speak of it; but it was there in the very act of making love.

Love between strangers is beautiful. But we are not strangers any more.

We are in a ‘relationship’, without wanting to be, or knowing how. It expects us to have certain expectations from each other. In a relationship, love is not just to be given; it should be received in equal measure. Attention must be given and received. Help must be offered, sympathy should be all-encompassing, and empathy is expected to overcome any hint at anger. Jealousy is to be expected, but in just the right proportion so as not to turn into possessiveness.

Every feeling needs to be analysed and talked about in depth. Every fear must be known to each other. Not mentioning a fleeting thought is forgivable, unless you happen to mention it to anyone else. A decision, especially one involving the future, should be taken together.

A relationship is a comforting reality of a long-lasting companionship. It is a lot more than love.

But perhaps, we were better as beautiful strangers. Perhaps strangers understand love better. It remains undiluted by expectations and fears and hopes of the future. It stays within a moment which is pure, however fleeting.

Cafe Conversations: Murder, Karma & Morality

Scene: 3 friends at a cafe.

Characters: Sonya sits on the sofa, hair pulled up in a bun, dressed in white cotton top and loose pants, feet up on a chair.

Avinash lounges low in an armchair, and frowns at Sonya across the table, mulling over their conversation.

Jai sits next to Avinash, struggling to understand the conversation.

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Jai (to Sonya): So, you’re telling me that even if you murder some poor innocent chap, you know, take his life… then just because you don’t have a conscience, you’ll get away with it?

Sonya: I’m not talking legally here. Ethically, yes.

Jai: But why should you get away with it? Murder is wrong; it’s the highest degree of evil. You’d be taking someone’s life.

Sonya: Assuming that I am able to carry out the perfect murder, you know, one where I take care of the body, and no one ever finds me. Then if I have absolutely no guilt, what happens to me?

Avinash: I’m sorry; these are just a lot of assumptions. We have a legal system in the first place, to punish wrong-doers and to make sure there is free will. One person does not have the right to take another person’s life, and he should be punished. As simple as that.

Sonya: Free will? (Snorts loudly) There is no such thing as free will.

(speaks agitedly, waving her hands) When you’re a child, they preach you these things, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’, or, ‘Anything you set your mind to, if you work hard for it, you will get it.’ So naïve! Humans have always believed that on a specie level, they are free. That their actions are resuts of their own grasp over the way they should lead their lives. But that in itself is such a micro, narrow and yet a superior sense perception to this gift of life.

You know what, let’s NOT get into that argument.

Jai: Save it for another day. Coming back to this murder discussion, my point is, I believe in Karma. So even if you, Sonya, are really a perfect-murderess who has us all fooled with your charm and personality – (Sonya takes a mock bow) – someday, you’ll have something bad coming your way. It’s the universe’s way of setting things right.

(Waiter comes up with their coffees)

Avinash (squinting at Sonya): I can just see it. I bet she already has bodies stuffed into the water duct on the terrace of her building – no wonder that place has creepy noises at night. It’s haunted!

(The waiter throws them all bewildered looks and goes off)

Jai: I agree. She’s devilishly deceptive, plus there have been nights when no one knows where she was and she wasn’t home…

(Jai goes into his dramatic zone)

So one day… she just gives in to all her pent-up, dark, evil, angry, twisted thoughts… puts on some scary, gothic makeup, stashes her gun in her…uh…

Avinash (with big eyes): Where? Where DO you stash your gun, Sonya?

(Sonya rolls her eyes at him)

Sonya (laughing): Look. Karma is just correlating good things against bad things that have happened to you. Maybe the bad things were just bound to happen to you, like the result of a random probability distribution. And because of your conscience, you end up assuming that it was because of something you did!

Jai: That’s crazy! It’s just plain crazy to imply that Karma can affect only those with a conscience. Someone without a conscience is already a bad person – I say ‘bad’ because we seem to be assuming the world is split into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ things happening to us – but then, my point is, such a person, through his immoral character itself, is leading an unhappy life. A person cannot survive on committing evil deeds in society; even ethically, the very society he feeds on will make sure he pays.

Avinash (starts clapping): Well done, my friends. Both very good points. I half agree with both. But… I’m afraid I need proof. Proof, in the form of the highest degree of evil.

Jai (solemnly): I do have an acquaintance I wouldn’t miss terribly if he disappeared from the face of the earth. In fact, not a lot of people who would miss him… (looks at Sonya) I vote thee for this highly esteemed task…

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